Being the person everyone wants to work with drives success far more pleasantly than being a jerk somebody has to work with.

We all know that one person who is obnoxious, loud, impolite, attention-seeking and yet, extremely successful. This type of unfiltered extroversion may work for some, but is not a clear reflection of a person’s level of magnetism.

Magnetism must not be confused with narcissism. Magnetism is the ability we each have to pull others towards us. This magnetic pull comes from sincerity, not puffery. There is nothing appealing about working with a smug, superficial, bullish, entitled person who manipulates their way to success.

Business dealings are more successful when shared with people we enjoy. We’re naturally drawn to people who are polite, agreeable, open, intelligent, discerning and kind. In all truth, people may initially be impressed with what is artificial, but long-term, the large majority prefer and appreciate what is genuine. This means we each have the potential to “up” our own magnetism.

1. Genuine

When we come across a magnetic person, what stands out is their vibe. Magnetic people are sincerely interested and glad when meeting others. They give people the feeling that they “get” them by respecting their ideas, thoughts, experience, and points of view.

This genuine quality instantly makes other people feel important. Magnetic people show their sincerity through how they communicate. They are engrossed in their interactions, and show interest to others through their body language. Magnetic people maintain eye-contact, laugh when others laugh, show empathy through their facial expressions when hearing of another’s frustrations, and nod when others nod. This type of mirroring creates a feedback loop which serves to deepen bonds, and is at the very essence of magnetism.

2. Discerning

Magnetic people tend to be self-contained and discerning. They do not assume instant trust or an instant bond with anyone. Rather, they reveal who they are in small, but appropriate doses. They are private observers, and selective when exposing their vulnerabilities.

This discerning quality draws interest from others because magnetic people are not consistently positioning themselves to win unspoken competitions with the people they meet or interact with. Magnetic people are collaborative, self-possessed and a bit mysterious. This mystery breeds curiosity. Due to social media, it has become more and more unusual to come across people who aren’t overly self-exposing.

3. Agreeable

Magnetic people approach conflict from a place of agreement, rather than contradiction. Magnetic people don’t intentionally seek to disagree; instead, they seek for points of commonality and work from there. They are well-trained to discuss, challenge and advocate for the causes they believe in.

Those high in magnetism believe that securely established, successful, long-standing agreements manifest through the exchange and intense negotiation of varying opinions. They are aware that automatic agreement doesn’t make things better; the process of discovery does.

4. Hands on

Magnetic people are hands on, literally and figuratively. They understand the power of appropriate nonsexual touch.

Touch communicates to others, without words, their value, worth and significance. Touch reinforces the sincerity of their words, it expresses their excitement, comradery, empathy and confidence. Touch is a pure statement of one’s authenticity, and has huge influence over the behavior of others.

Appropriate and well-timed touch increases compliance. It makes the person doing the touching seem more attractive and friendly, and can absolutely be magnetic enough to help close a deal.

5. Self-effacing

Magnetic people do not mind revealing their shortcomings.

They are comfortable with who they are, making it easy for them to live with a lighthearted sense of humor. They have no issue admitting mistakes or being the main character in a cautionary tale. They are at ease when they are the source of laughter for themselves or others. They do not take themselves or life too seriously, and others tend to respect them more for this. Their shortcomings make them human, which gives other people the permission to be more genuine as well.

When magnetic people own their foibles, people don’t laugh at them, they laugh with them.

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